Infinite Monkey Theorem 9/10/2018Submitted by Executive Wealth Management on September 12th, 2018
For over a century, philosophers have maintained the validity of the infinite monkey theorem:
An infinite number of monkeys hitting keys at random on an infinite number of typewriters will eventually produce the complete works of William Shakespeare.
However, nobody had the guts to put this pretentious proposition to the test until 2003. At that time, a group of British zoologists at the Paignton Zoo in Devon, England, placed six monkeys ( a number only slightly less than infinity) in a room with a collection of typewriters. They also ensured that all of the equipment was properly secured and encased in plastic sheeting because, apparently, if you put a monkey in front of a typewriter, his first instinct is not to type on it.
Anyways, the experiment ultimately ended a couple of minutes later when the monkeys became bored with whole endeavor. And after a massive cleanup, the scientists did find some typings that they could analyze. Unfortunately, it seems that the test subjects didn't recreate Hamlet or Macbeth or even The Merry Wives of Windsor. The scientists' report indicates that the only thing the monkeys could produce were a series of short paragraphs about trivial topics filled with clumsy puns, inadequate alliterations, and rudimentary rhymes which they interspersed with the words "On A Lighter Note" in bold. Wait... what?